Some Idiots Are Offended By a Sarah Silverman Tweet

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I think it’s both hilarious and disturbing because it’s too true. She tweeted a picture on her account, which was then retweeted a LOT, of Top Rape Prevention Tips. We, ladies, see these all the time. We’re expected to be hyper aware, take self defense classes, carry mace/pepper spray/ stun gun at all times and OF COURSE keep all skin covered lest some man can’t control his primal urges and rapes us in the streets. Her tips were a little different.

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If only ALL men followed these 10 simple rules, the world would be a much nicer place, dontcha think? But of course, because people are stupid, some baby men on twitter took offense and apparently thought she was implying this about all men. Which is obviously not the case seeing as she is in a relationship with a man. Huh.

Zac Lee posted: ‘It’s extremely offensive. It implies that it’s common for men to think about ways to rape girls, when that’s nonsense.’

Another user wrote: ‘This is so offensive to men. What an awful subtext you’re propagating.’

And Paul Jukes tweeted: ‘Rather harsh on those of us who, you know, wouldn’t dream of hurting anyone.’

User Ben Morpy wrote: ‘I feel like battling sexism with sexist propaganda is the best way to promote sexism.’ 

Awww poor men. Poor man tears. If you’re offended by this, you might be a rapist!

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Lena Heady Is My Girl Crush Forever

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I mean, who doesn’t love Cersei Lannister?! She’s gorgeous and awesome. What more could you ask for. Lena’s on the cover of More magazine promoting the upcoming 5th season of Game of Thrones (I’m waiting on the edge of my damn seat!) and she talks a bit about her divorce and depression. Fun!

The star, 41, was married to the musician for six years before the parents to 5-year-old son Wylie finalized their divorce in 2013. Two years later, Headey is still coming to terms with the split. “It’s tough,” she told the mag. “There’s a lot of hurt and sadness and disappointment. Grief. Massive grief. It’s a mourning process, and yet nobody’s died.”

Headey also opened up about her personal battle with depression. “I haven’t had a spell in a long time,” the star revealed. “I think some people’s brains are just wired that way if you’re a thinker. People who never get anxious always amaze me. The world could be breaking up and they’re saying, ‘Everything’s fine!’ Getting older and having kids, you learn how to become less serious about it all.”

In fact, she’s currently expecting her second child — but the father’s identity remains a mystery. “I like to keep my personal life private,” she told More.

I can’t believe she is 41. She looks phenomenal.

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Zayn Quit One Direction

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Guys, take a deep breath. This is a big change, I know, but I think, collectively, we can make it through this. Together.

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This couldn’t possibly have anything to do with those cheating rumors and the pictures of him with his arm around another girl. Could it??

Pop Justice

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Suki Waterhouse Rinses Her Hair In Coca Cola

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All I can think about is flies. Does she do that when she’s in a warm climate? You’d be followed by flies and bees. Sounds like a nightmare.

“I rinse my hair with Coca-Cola sometimes,” Waterhouse, 23, who split from actor Bradley Cooper after two years of dating, told Us Weekly.

Yep, you read that correctly: Waterhouse relies on the sweet soda to give her hair a boost. “I don’t like my hair when it’s washed — it’s fine and limp — but Coca-Cola makes it tousled, like I’ve gone through the Amazon or something,” the stunning Brit, 23, explained.

What? That is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. There are HAIR products made for this express purpose. I’m just sitting here shaking my head and this idea.

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Julianne Hough Covers Allure, Cannot Escape Seacrest

It’s okay, Julianne, none of us can escape the Seacrest.

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She looks striking on that cover! Her eyes are incredible. If you watch Dancing with the Stars like a loser (like me) then you know Julianne is on our televisions every Monday night again as an expert judge. Of course her ex, Ryan Seacrest, hosts another prime time competition show American Idol. (yes it’s still on).

“It’s hard not to — he’s everywhere,” the April 2015 cover girl told Allure of Seacrest. Although she has moved on (Hough is now dating hockey player Brooks Laich), the Dancing With the Stars judge said it took some time.

“A little while after [I cut my hair for 2013’s Safe Haven], when I cut ties with my relationship,” Hough said, “I chopped more. It was about changing it up and beginning fresh — in the movie but in real life, also.

You should watch Safe Haven. It’s pretty cheesy and it’s by Nicholas Sparks, but Josh Duhamel plays her love interest and he is delicious so that is worth the price of admission, right?

She also mentioned her racist Halloween costume a few years ago as Crazy Eyes from Orange is the New Black.

“Ignorance is sometimes not bliss…It was all out of fun and respect for the character,” Hough said of her Orange Is the New Black’s Crazy Eyes costume. “I don’t even know how to talk about it because it’s such a sensitive topic. It makes me so sad to think that I was that dumb. I learned a big lesson.”

Good. That’s a good statement on that, not much more anyone can say.

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Gwyneth Paltrow Educates Us On Pain Free Pregnancy

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What kind of shenanigans is she talking about this time? Because, whatever. No pregnancy is pain free, it’s impossible and I won’t believe it for one second. Read on to discover her hippie dippy, magical, probably bullshit ways to improve your pregnancy. Oi vey. Gwyneth you make it so easy for people to mock you.

“10 Ways to Have a Pain-Free Pregnancy.” What about the cramps, the back pain, and the heartburn? No problem, says the celeb mom of two! Paltrow’s resident pain expert, Vicky Vlachonis, grants expectant moms some quick relief. 

To aid the fight against stretch marks and relieve chest pain, Vlachonis suggests doing a figure-eight with almond oil on your chest. “Even if you don’t have a genetic predisposition to stretch marks, pretend you do — slather yourself in sweet almond oil at every opportunity,” she writes. “Apply the oil in an infinity symbol or figure 8 pattern around your breasts to help simulate lymphatic drainage and and relieve any chest ache or discomfort.”   

And, the further along you are in the final trimester — try getting on all fours. “While not the most dignified of positions, hanging out on your hands and knees can help in many ways,” Vlachonis insists. “First of all, the baby’s weight is not pressing down on your pelvis, but hanging forward in the belly — much less pressure and easier to sustain during exercise.” The Goop contributor warns against staying sedentary for too long. “If you’re sitting a lot, you’re squeezing your tummy, which can cause your diaphragm to lock up.”  

Another tip for pain? Wait to massage your lower back until the end of the pregnancy. “Instead of focusing directly on the lower back, have your partner or massage therapist work your gluteus (butt) muscles to release tension in your hips and lower back,” Vlachonis suggests.

When it comes to food, Vlachnis says an inflammatory diet is best: “From the very beginning of your pregnancy, remind yourself that you don’t need a ton of food to sustain your baby.” Another help for not is to stay away from cow’s milk dairy, rich fatty meats, pork, roasted peanuts and peanut butter, concentrated fruit juices (especially orange and tomato), and all wheat, sugar and sweeteners. Vlachonis says these foods are culprits of hip and joint pain, swollen gums, and feet, not to mention bring on awful bouts of heartburn.   

But overall, the health expert, who also provides tips on how to beat stress and the importance of a bath and massage, says to ignore the idea of a perfect pregnancy. “Mother Nature knows just what to do— and she will do it with or without your approval,” Vlachonis writes. “Trust your body to fulfill its primal biological destiny, and trust your OB or midwife knows how to help.”

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M.I.A. Dared To Diss Oprah

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So, for some reason, I guess the 10th anniversary of her debut album, Rolling Stone interviewed M.I.A. She talked about her exboyfriend dj, Diplo and how he’s an asshole, and then she talked about Oprah supposedly giving her the cold shoulder at some Oscar party in 2009. Seems legit.

“In 2009, Time nominated me for one of the most influential people of the 21st century or something and I met Oprah at that party,” M.I.A., now 39, recalled to RS. “And I was like, ‘Hey, people are gonna f–king die in my country. Like, please pay attention.'”

(Born in London but of Sri Lankan Tamil descent, the musician — real name, Mathangi Arulpragasam — has been very outspoken about the political and social turmoil in the country where she was raised from a very young age. Her activism is controversial, though, and has alienated her in the past.)

According to M.I.A., Winfrey was unresponsive to her pleas for help. “She was like, ‘You’re s–t because you were rude to Lady Gaga and I’m not talking to you. And I’m gonna interview Tom Cruise jumping on my sofa, so f–k off,'” the Oscar-nominated Slumdog Millionaire rapper told Rolling Stone.

The OWN creator was apparently willing to pose for a photo with M.I.A., but that was it. “Yeah, she didn’t talk to me. She shut me down,” the musician claimed. “She took that photo of me, but she was just like, ‘I can’t talk to you because you’re crazy and you’re a terrorist.’ And I’m like, ‘I’m not. I’m a Tamil and there are people dying in my country and you have to, like, look at it because you’re f–king Oprah and every American told me you’re going to save the world.'”

Well then. Was the couch jumping that long ago!? Seems like only yesterday we had that celebrity gem. Either way, M.I.A. seems like a very angry person and is railing on things that happened many years ago, but for what?

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Charlie Sheen Helped Jon Cryer Get a Prostitute Once

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Of course he did. If anyone is ever in need of a prostitute, it seems like Charlie Sheen would be your go-to guy.

“I was in a bad state right after my divorce, and I certainly didn’t feel dateable,” Cryer, 49, wrote in the memoir (via The Hollywood Reporter). “I was an emotional basket case… I decided I might as well pay someone for company and certain intimate pleasures so that I could at least get my equilibrium back with the opposite sex. Charlie suggested a few online purveyors he used, as this was when prostitution was gaining a foothold on the Internet.”

“It was really a very friendly experience, maybe because the act of having sex is quite the conversational icebreaker,” he continued. “The next time, I went to her place, which probably wasn’t really her place. We sat down, tried to make small talk and halfheartedly stumbled into a conversation about recent fluctuations in the stock market. Somehow I ended up spending 25 minutes of my hour helping her with financial planning.”

How delightful. Sounds like a lovely, fulfilling experience was had by all.

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Kerry Washington Is Gorgeous On Marie Claire

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Oh I love her! Lena Dunham interviewed Kerry for this month’s Marie Claire magazine, and of course she talked about her little baby Isabelle.

During their chat, she gave some rare insight into her personal life with husband Nnamdi Asomugha and their 10-month-old daughter, Isabelle Amarachi Asomugha, whom they welcomed in late April 2014.

“I just want [daughter Isabelle] to know that she’s heard,” the Golden Globe-nominated star told Dunham. “Really heard, because I feel like that is what we all really want.”

It’s certainly what Washington wanted. “When I think about any of the missteps in my life that I’ve made, all of which I’m grateful for, it’s because I just so wanted to be truly seen and heard for who I am and was afraid I wasn’t or wouldn’t be,” she shared. “I see you, I hear you, I’m with you as you are.”

“I didn’t grow up thinking I was pretty; there was always a prettier girl than me,” she said. “So I learned to be smart and tried to be funny and develop the inside of me, because I felt like that’s what I had.” 

I don’t know how to pronounce most of her families’ names. But it doesn’t matter. Kerry rocks as Olivia Pope. That’s all that matters.

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Gwen Stefani and Demi Moore Are Friends That Barely Age

Especially Gwen! It’s kind of scary how she looks the same as she did 20 years ago. And she’s had 3 kids in the mean time. Insanity. These two gorgeous ladies were at the ‘Barely Famous’ premiere in Hollywood last night. ‘Barely Famous’ is a fake reality show for VH1. I’ve never heard of it before just now.

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How do they still look so good?!?! Are they using virgin’s blood or something?? Even Gwen’s hands look young, see?

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